My glucose average is 424; it should be below 120. Statements from medical professionals, family, friends and patients about behavior consequent to hyperglycemia, or high blood sugar:
• It can hit you really quick pretty much without warning.
• Irritability, agitation, aggressive, irrationality, anger, rage, loss of self-control, yelling, wild eyes, inability to reason, mean
• He’s usually very sweet-natured but his highs turn him into a completely different [person].
• Expected too much from those around me
• Makes everyone around her crazy
• Very trying for loved ones and friends
• He really scares me when he is so angry at everything and everyone. When he is low he is very lovable and fun.
• He is not himself. He’s forgetful, sometimes irrational, and got angry at a little thing—totally unlike him.
• I don’t know if it’s the sugar or if he’s getting early Alzheimer’s—it’s that noticeable a difference.
• My husband has been so irritable and angry and has had fits of rage that have frightened me. I know he would never hurt me but to see him like that scares me. His face is so red and during the rage he doesn’t know where to turn. The thing is, something valid does set him off, so he figures he has a reason for being angry but it is almost out-of-control anger. His blood sugar levels have been high for at least two years . . .
• I don’t do this on purpose.
The moving crew chief cautioned that I shouldn’t yell at his men; the building manager won’t even acknowledge my existence; the doctor kicked me out of his practice. At Crouse Hospital and the Iroquois Nursing Home no medical person or administrator made any attempt to link my behavior to my illness. Nobody ever said to the bedside staff, “Try to understand: she’s hyperglycemic and can’t control what this is doing to her.”
There are people who don’t trigger me. Why don’t we look at that? Why not consider the behavior of people don’t initiate bad reactions from me? Why don’t we look at what they do or don’t do and replicate it among other people? Why do we blame the patient instead of teaching the staff?
I have an invisible illness: hyperglycemia. It is tearing me apart and destroying every relationship I have. I am treating it with diet, acupuncture and homeopathy. All I know how to do is isolate myself because I can’t get along with some people. Insulin makes me suicidal; I am working with a pharmacologist/psychiatrist to try to figure out why.
What more can I do? Show me. Tell me. Everybody blames me, assuming I can control my behavior; I can’t. I am in torment.
Where’s the understanding? Where’s the compassion?